A week has passed since I left the Philippines on the 15th of April. Ever since then, I have been having all sorts of pain. As I remembered, I was sleeping all day because I had lower back pain before my flight. On the airport, I was all emotional and I had migraine to begin my trip. Shortly after I bid goodbye to my mom and Ry, my legs were beginning to feel cold and started to hurt really bad to the point that I was limping my way to the aircraft. I was clueless bout what was happening to me; all i know is that the pain I was feeling was excruciating. Thankfully, there was no one seated beside me on the plane so I was able to lie down like a fetus and hide myself under a blanket because I was desperate for some warmth. That time, I felt like I had a fever but there’s nothing I can do about it. My leg pain was very hard to bear with, it was throbbing during my 10-hr stop over in Seoul, Korea and my 14-hr plane ride here to Los Angeles. 

The pain didn’t stop until I came here in LA. I was limping whenever I tried to walk and on my first night, I had a really high fever. I searched the net bout what it was and realized that it might be an effect of my period; I was lacking minerals. After my period finished, the leg pain stopped as well. I thought that it was the end of painful journey. However, two of my wisdom teeth suddenly erupted like a merciless beast. It was so painful to the point that all I could feed myself was milk and bread that melted with it. And since I lacked more vitamins and minerals due to not being able to eat my usual diet, mouth sores infested my mouth all over —- under my tongue, on the gums above my upper molars, and tonsils. To add to it, my hard palette got swollen the following day too. It hurt so bad that I can’t even talk properly or open my mouth wide. Chewing, spitting, or swallowing was almost unbearable for me. 

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by so much pain to the point that I find myself in tears. Especially when I’m all alone here when my relatives go to work, and there’s no one online back home that I could talk to. But I realized a lot of things too.

1. I’m so thankful because God made sure that I was taken care of and loved.

— The flight attendants on the plane even covered me with an extra blanket when I was asleep. 

— My Uncle & his family cooked especially for me so that I could eat and encouraged me a lot because I had to force myself to eat despite the pain. They took care of me when I was sick and up to now because I’m not yet fully okay.

2. I learned how to help myself most especially when I am in excessive pain. I realized I should do my part also in simple things like swallowing food with water coz the people around me did their part already.

3. I learned to seek God more and trust Him with what I am going through and to just surrender it to Him.

I lie down and sleep;

I wake again because the Lord sustains me.

Psalm 3:5

God is always there for us. Always. And no matter how difficult it may be, his unfailing love will sustain us. He is our strength and our refuge. He is our healer, our father, and our savior.

I love you God, thank you because I got to eat a Fillet-o-Fish burger and Fries today. Thank you for restoring me little by little :)